


The thing about love

by x3_NaWnOmSchnuff



Category: Pandora Hearts
Genre: Homophobia, Leo is very gay, M/M, also them throwing things at each other, and he is coming out to Elliot, and with leo smoking, but that's normal for them anyway, it ends with leo crying, kinda angsty, mentions of Vincent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-04
Updated: 2018-07-04
Packaged: 2019-06-05 05:06:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15163307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/x3_NaWnOmSchnuff/pseuds/x3_NaWnOmSchnuff
Summary: „Well, however, what do you want to tell me, Leo?“And the black-haired boy was immediately snatched out of his thoughts and he could feel his hands starting to tremble.„I-“He couldn't even finish the sentence before tears were choking back his words and he wiped them away as quickly as he could, now not only his hands were trembling, but his whole body.„I'm so sorry, Elliot!“





	The thing about love

**Author's Note:**

  * For [i_write_hurt_not_comfort](https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_write_hurt_not_comfort/gifts).



> So, this is for @i-write-hurt-not-comfort because we made a deal and now I have one of the strangest stories ever as a gift, but whateveeeeeer.  
> Please read her stories, she's a great author!!!!  
> -Schnuff

„Elliot, I have to tell you something.“

Leo's lips were quivering when he spoke those words, still not believing that he had said them. There was no going back now. Elliot would force him to tell him now, he was aware and maybe that was good. Leo didn't know how to say it though.

Elliot sighed and put the bookmark Leo had gifted him a while ago into Holy Knight volume eight to fully pay attention to his servant and not the book.

„Yes? Please do it quickly, I want to know if Edgar is saved by Edwin or if he finally dies.“

„He's saved“, Leo mumbled and in the next moment there was a book thrown at his chest.  
And it hurt, but Leo was long used to Elliot throwing things at him and the pain after it also wasn't a big deal.

„Don't spoil! How often do I have to tell you that that annoys me and overall... stop spoiling me, please!“

Elliot's ice blue eyes were gleaming and Leo looked away quickly before he could turn red.  
He should have gotten used to looking at Elliot's eyes long ago, but somehow, he hadn't.  
All of that should be damned, all that stuff about feelings and love and sexuality, Leo had never known how to properly face and think about those things without ending up needing a cigarette.

Not that he smoked regularly, but sometimes he just needed the nicotine to flood his lungs and calm him down.

„Well, however, what do you want to tell me, Leo?“

And the black-haired boy was immediately snatched out of his thoughts and he could feel his hands starting to tremble.

„I-“

He couldn't even finish the sentence before tears were choking back his words and he wiped them away as quickly as he could, now not only his hands were trembling, but his whole body.

„I'm so sorry, Elliot!“, Leo knew that he was sobbing and that a valet was not supposed to cry in front of his master.

Elliot stared at him for a few moments, not really knowing what to do about a crying Leo because he had never seen him cry before, but then he decided to hand him a tissue.

„Uhm, Leo, are you ok? What happened? Hey, did you set the school on fire or what?“, Elliot tried to joke to lift his mood, but Leo just gave a forced smile and shook his head.

„No... nothing like that. I'm just... so... so afraid that you'll hate me and...“

Leo tried to breath in calmly, he knew that Elliot wouldn't be able to understand him if he continued speaking like this.  
And he didn't want to cry, not because of this, he felt so endlessly stupid.  
„Hey, no! I would never hate you, Leo! I mean... Even though it may not seem like it all the time, I really do like you. You're my best friend. And nothing will change that, so spit it out. I'm really worrying, ok? I hate to see you cry like that. C'mon, take of your glasses for once, ok?“

Leo nodded and laid them onto the nightstand. Elliot grabbed the tissue once again and slowly raised his hand to Leo's cheek to dry his tears.  
But Leo only backed away and he didn't look at Elliot anymore. It was too much for him.  
Elliot being this near was too much, he wanted a cigarette right now, he could not deal with this boy's hand touching his cheek, he could not deal with the warmth of his fingertips and the heat they caused in his body.

He was so afraid of leaning forward and kissing him, even though it was stupid and Leo knew that he would not do that because he could control himself.

„Ok, tell me now. You look miserable, Leo. What is bugging you so much? You can tell me, I won't hate you.“

Only three words. Leo only had to say three words. That was not a lot. So why couldn't he just spit them out?

„Hey, hey, do you have a girlfriend?“

Leo almost laughed out loud, but he could only shake his head weakly.

„No. It's the... well... the opposite.“

Elliot didn't know what he meant by that, Leo could see it on his face, he knew Elliot too well, but what he saw on his face then was pure relief.  
Why would Elliot be relieved at the fact that he didn't have a girlfriend? That made no sense.

„Alright then. Do you need help in getting the girl you love?“

But now his voice sounded cold as ice, almost as cold as the colour of his oh so beautiful eyes and it hurt.  
Leo's whole body was in pain, his heart hurt the most, throbbing painfully in his chest and he couldn't even move, there was a weight pushing him to the ground, pushing him away from Elliot.

He was so afraid of Elliot rejecting him, so afraid of being pushed away by the light he needed in his life, by the light that he wanted to be near to, by the light that he would die without.

„No.“

Tears were still streaming down his face at the thought of Elliot not loving him back.  
Why did he have to fall in love with his master anyways? It was insane and stupid, so twisted.  
And why was he hoping for Elliot to love him back? He probably liked girls, like everyone else.

„I don't understand, Leo. Apparently it's about love but you aren't in love, I have no idea what you mean.“

But Leo was in love, he was in love with the way Elliot raked his hand through his hair, he was in love with those beautiful eyes and those lips, oh god those lips.

„It's not... a girl... who I like“, he pressed out of his throat, trying not to choke on the tears, trying not to run away.

„Wait, wait, are you in love with a boy? Is it that, Leo?“

He could only nod and then Elliot did the worst thing that he could have done, he stood up and walked to the window.  
He was disgusted, Leo thought, he was disgusted by the thought that he liked boys.

„Alright then... I'm super prejudiced because of my parents, I know this, Leo. I don't trust my parents anymore, not after what they have done to keep me away from Vincent and Gilbert. So... educate me, I guess.“

Leo was so relieved that he sobbed once again, Elliot turned around to him and grinned.

„Oh Leo, there are worse things than that. So... you want to have... you want to... with... with boys?“

Now it was Leo's turn to laugh out loud through all the crying.

„What? No, no, I mean, yes I would, but not with everyone, of course. I think it's the same for boys who like girls.“

„And... it isn't just a phase or an illness? My mom used to keep saying that it's an illness that people should be killed for.“ Elliot's voice was quivering now and he sat down onto Leo's bed once again.

„It's not a phase... I don't think so. And I never understood why it should be an illness... it's not like you could... 'treat' it or anything. I heard of men who liked men being forced into having sex with girls.“

„What?“, Elliot screamed aghast and Leo had to laugh at that again.

„Apparently, yes, that happened to some. Also, Elliot, please don't tell anyone.“

„No, no, of course not, who do you think I am? I'm your master, Leo, not your 'you-can't-kiss-men-police'. Anyways... who are you in love with? I mean, you are in love, right? I could hear that guy out.“

Elliot really wasn't disgusted by him, Leo was happy, so happy that he wasn't rejected by him.  
And then he realized, what Elliot had said.

„Huh? Wait, wait, that's none of your business!“

But it was. It was Elliot's business because it was him.

„Aww, Leo is turning so red at the thought of his beautiful boy!“

Leo grabbed the pillow with burning cheeks and flung it at Elliot. And he hit him right in the face. A good payback for the book some minutes earlier.

„Seriously, you really are in love, aren't you? And you won't tell me? Seriously, Leo, I really am prejudiced and like, I know that you still are Leo and that it doesn't really matter if you like... girls or boys I'm just... you know, I had to hear those things so long so I really am sorry if I say something stupid-“

„Calm down, Elliot. It's alright that you... that you're ok with that. I thought that you would freak out... or something like that. Or... hit me... or throw me out, fire me, or something like that.“

And now Elliot blushed and Leo had no idea why. Had he said something embarrassing? When he repeated his words in his head, he came to the conclusion that he had not.

„Uhm... of course not. I've already told you that I like you, so... also... to be honest, I'm not sure if I like girls myself, you know? But I'm only sixteen, so I have no idea of dating anyways.“

Leo held back his comment of 'you clearly don't know you brother Vincent' and decided to put his hand onto Elliot's shoulder.  
Leo was bad at touching, he knew that. He never knew when to touch someone or where, he was so afraid to somehow make them disgusted by him like everyone in the past had been disgusted by the golden light dancing in his eyes.

„Elliot, I'm gonna smoke a cigarette now, ok?“

„Give me one too.“

„Elliot, you have never smoked before“, Leo complained but handed him a cigarette anyways. He had bought them with the little money that he had and now Elliot was going to waste one. But how could Leo be angry with a boy as beautiful as him?

Elliot took the match box and enlightened the cigarette, took a deep breath and started coughing immediately.  
Putting his own cigarette to his mouth and letting the smoke stream into his lungs and out, Leo laughed.

„See? I've told you that you won't like it!“


End file.
